Mary: The Power of Grief
Hello and welcome to Wifey Wednesdays, a podcast for women who are seeking to be the best wives they can be. I’m your host, Emily Hatfield, and this is the show where the plan is always to do things God’s way, especially our marriages.
On today’s episode, we come to another positive powerful example in our cycle, though this one may be among the most difficult yet. Just listen to John 19 verses 25 to 27.
“but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”
I cannot really imagine this scene. I cannot fathom what it must have been like. At this point in the crucifixion, Jesus has been scourged and is hanging by nails on the cross, no doubt bloodied and marred and looking horrific to every single onlooker — but here is His mother. How horrific must this have been for her? She watched Him come into the world. She was there when God became flesh and took His first breath. And now she is here, watching God in the flesh be mocked and spat upon and pierced and broken. But she cannot stay away. She does not stay away. Though it is the most horrific thing, she is there.
And this has been predicted. On that first visit to the temple with her newborn baby, the old man Simeon says that a sword will pierce through her own soul. No doubt this is the moment that it happens…that her whole life feels upended and broken. She must have so much pain - even physical pain; breathless, wrenching pain - standing and watching this awful scene unfold.
How is she even standing? How has she not buckled beneath the weight of this awful, crushing moment? How does she have the mental strength to endure this moment?
I am so impressed by Mary. No doubt God gave her the beautiful gift of being chosen as Jesus’ mother because He knew her heart and knew the capabilities of her heart. He knew of her love and devotion; He knew of her dedication to Him and so, ultimately, the dedication she would show to her precious, one of a kind son. He knew exactly what she would have to endure — the path she would have to walk — and yet she was chosen; gifted the experience of being Jesus’ mother.
Do you think Mary would resented this role? Do you think if, looking back, she could know the outcome, she would choose it? Knowing the grief and pain, hardship and suffering — knowing that she’d have to stand at the foot of the cross and listen as her Son placed himself into horrific pain just to use precious last breaths to take care of her — would she choose it all over again?
I cannot imagine that Mary would ever not want to be the mother of the Messiah. I cannot ever imagine her wanting a different outcome - for either her life or for His. Yes, she was His mother, but more than that, she became simply HIS - a follower, a disciple, one washed in His blood. Of course she was standing at the cross - He was everything to her, as He ought to have been. But not simply because He was her son, but because He was God’s son, because He was THE ONE that everything had to be about. She was there, just like all of the other women were there, because when your whole life is wrapped up in a person, you are there no matter what.
There is so much power on display in Mary’s grief. She does not let it keep her from the hard; she lets her grief draw her closer to Jesus. She’s right there, at the cross, even though it’s hard. And that’s all I want for my life, too.
I know a thing or two about grief. The last four years have been the hardest of my life. And if I had the opportunity to choose to not have this grief, I’m quite positive I’d want a different route. But here’s the thing: Isaiah says that Jesus was acquainted with grief — and He chose it. If grief is what brings me closer to Jesus, I think I ought to choose it, too. I don’t think I should look back and wish that things didn’t happen the way they have — instead, I want to praise God that He has seen me through all the hard and brought me closer to the cross in the process. If grief is the thing that can make you show up at the foot of the cross, then bring on the grief. Let it transform you. Let it break you. And let the cross of Christ rebuild you and change you and send you away changed and better for being there.
I cannot imagine that the days and weeks and months after all of this were easy on Mary. I imagine she got some time during the pre-ascension post-resurrection time to see Jesus and be with Him, but it was borrowed time. And then, she was with John, some early church historians say she ends up with him in Ephesus, but we don’t really know. But what we do know is that she didn’t let this grief break her. She didn’t let grief keep her from Jesus; she let the grief draw her closer to the cross. It’s what brought her there. It both broke her and restored her; it crushed her and saved her.
I want that to be my experience with grief. Whether that is earthly, physical grief like losing someone, or whether that is spiritual grief over my sinful condition - I want grief to be powerful in my heart, drawing me closer to the cross of Jesus and keeping my eyes fixed on Him. I want my suffering to seem as nothing worthy to be compared to His, and that only happens when I focus on Him. Sometimes, grief feels all encompassing. It feels like the very biggest thing. It feels so heavy, and it feels like no one else could possibly hurt as much as you do. But Jesus did. And He chose it, for you and for me. In which case, I can count my suffering as nothing worthy to be compared with His — and I know that one day, it will seem as nothing when I get to gaze upon His beauty and majesty in the place of no more pain and suffering and death.
Mary was powerful. Her love and devotion to Her Lord - her Son - was remarkable. It kept her close to Him even when it hurt. That’s what I want. Even when it isn’t easy, I want my eyes fixed on Jesus. Even when I’m hurting, I want the hurt to draw me closer to His loving arms. I want grief to break my heart so that Jesus can put it back together in a way that only He can; in a way that is better than it was before the break.
What a horrific scene, there at the cross of Jesus. But what a powerful moment, knowing Mary is there — because where else would she be?
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. I hope you’ll join me next time as we talk about yet another powerful woman. Until then, remember - love God, love your husband.
