The Light Network Master Feed

Hello and welcome to Wifey Wednesdays, a podcast for women who are seeking to be the best wives they can be. I’m your host, Emily Hatfield, and this is the show where the plan is always to do things God’s way, especially our marriages.

On our episode today, we are pulling yet another two for one, because the women we are talking about today are only mentioned once in scripture and they are mentioned together.

In our New Testaments, in the book of Philippians, we are introduced to two women who are called laborers with Paul. Now, that description sounds good, and if you’re noticing, we’re on our negative cycle week. So what could be going on?

The women at the heart of our discussion today are Euodia and Syntyche, and here’s what we know about them. Philippians 4:2 says, “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.” Ooof. Ok. Yes, they’re laborers. Yes, they work side by side with Paul. Nope - they can’t get along.

We don’t know anything about this as women working in God’s kingdom, do we? There’s definitely never been someone we’ve had a hard time working with, or getting along with, has there?

If we’re honest with ourselves, maybe we’ve been in this very position at some point. Working for the Lord - working on a project, working to further the kingdom, working to spread the message, but struggling with the person we’re working next to in this greatest work on earth.

Here’s the thing: this text shows me that this isn’t something to just overlook or chalk up to just being human. Paul literally includes this exhortation for these women into his inspired letter — the letter that is going to be preserved for generations to come. Clearly this message isn’t meant only for them, but for all of us — to notice that when we are at odds with one another, we are not glorifying God. And also, when we are at odds with one another, it isn’t just affecting us.

Maybe Euodia and Syntyche thought that their little rift didn’t affect the people around them. Maybe they thought they could just go their separate ways and do their own thing and it all be fine. But Paul’s admonishment is for them to agree in the Lord, not simply sweep things under the rug for the sake of everybody else. No, they were to come to a place of agreement.

It seems that whatever is going on between them is just some kind of personality conflict. Neither of them seems to be on a side of truth and the other on a side of error. It seems there’s some kind of judgment call to be made, and they are letting that affect their sisterhood instead of seeking to outdo one another in showing honor, or giving preference to each other instead of seeking their own interests.

It’s interesting that this point of the letter comes after we’ve already been given some instruction on how to have the same mind — chapter 2 talks about not seeking our own interests but to instead have the mind of Jesus, which was willing to let go of equality with God and to come as a servant in order to die for His beloved people who had turned their hearts away from Him. Paul said in chapter 2 verse 14 that we are to do all things without grumbling and disputing so that we can shine our lights in the world of darkness. Were these two women dimming their light for Jesus because they were bickering and grumbling between themselves?

I think that’s probably a very real possibility. I know it is something that happens present-day. We may think we aren’t affecting the entire congregation just because we are having some kind of personal beef with somebody else, but let this letter to these sisters be an encouragement to us that actually, the work of Jesus is bigger than us, and our participation in it affects more than just us.

Something was wrong between these two, and it was something that could be overcome if they would simply agree in the Lord — agree to let the Lord be the one in control; let the Lord be the one dictating how we treat each other. We know that He never insisted on His own way, or none of us would be saved. If He, our Lord and Savior - God in the flesh - did not insist on His way, then why would I ever think that I should? Why should my preferences be chosen over someone else’s? Why should I take personally offense when people like someone else’s ideas? Why can I not get on board with things that aren’t necessarily my choice but in the grand scheme of things don’t really matter. Carpet color, teaching roles, who gets to work in the kitchen, who gets to take the lead over ladies bible class, who gets to host this event or decorate that one — we find all KINDS of things to bicker and complain about. We can argue and get frustrated with people over all kinds of things. I recently attended a ladies day and afterward, two sweet and humble sisters came up to me and said they had apologized to one another after the lessons because they realized they had been guilty of these very things. They were seeking to serve the Lord by helping prepare an entire day of study for women — and entire day dedicated to opening His word and letting Him change hearts — and they’d been doing it in a fussy way. We can get there, can’t we? Doing the good work with a bad attitude? Doing things and thinking my bitterness or resentment or backbiting doesn’t actually affect things? May we follow after the example of the two sisters I met who said, we don’t want to be like that. We want to be different. We want to let Jesus mend our relationships and we want Him to be the center of all that we do.

I am hopeful that Euodia and Syntyche used this moment of admonishment to realize what they were doing and to change their hearts about it. They both had servant hearts — they labored side by side with Paul — but sometimes it’s hard laboring beside other strong personalities, or people with different preferences, or someone with different gifts that may spark a bit of jealousy or insecurity in my mind. But may we take the rebuke and let it change our hearts. May we seek to get along in the Lord. May we seek His will above our own will, and may we humble ourselves to apologize when we’ve had the wrong attitude toward a fellow laborer.

These sisters are told that they have their names in the book of life. This rift between them wasn’t one where someone was doctrinally wrong and the other was right. This was simply a disagreement coming between them — affecting the work. Sometimes our actions and attitudes do that - they affect the work. They stall what could be a great thing of momentum — our disagreements discourage those around us and less work is done, not more. Shame on us! In the words of John the Baptist - He must increase and I must decrease. May my preferences decrease and His increase. May my pride decrease and my humility increase. May my need for getting things done my way decrease and my zeal for doing things His way increase.

Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode; I hope you’ll join me next week as we discuss a powerful positive example of a magnificent woman in scripture. Thanks again for joining me, and until next time remember: love God, love your husband.